This post marks the end of one leg of my journey to get a doctorate in education. I've spent the last year and a half studying educational technology and learning engineering and getting prepared to begin dissertation work.
The final steps to any milestone are sometimes the hardest, while other times they are the easiest of any journey. For me, these last steps have been both. On the one hand, since I have been thinking about my dissertation work for years, I feel like my proposal almost wrote itself. But on the other hand, as I ponder what I'm doing in a bigger sense, I've felt a great need to scrap everything I've done to date and start over.
That's the problem with learning new things. It has a way of making you want to go back to the beginning with the knowledge you now have and start again so you get another chance to get it right. I find myself there and it's a place I never thought I'd be. So, perhaps the greatest benefit I've received from reaching this point is that I have a greater appreciation for the ABDs in the world.
If you aren't familiar with that acronym, it stands for "all but dissertation" and it's a way to classify students that have done everything required to earn their doctorate except complete and defend their dissertation. For years I couldn't fathom getting that close and then not finishing. If I'm being completely honest, I used to have a rather negative opinion about the ABDs out there. I couldn't relate to them. Or at least, I didn't think I could.
Now, I've softened a great deal and feel a kinship to them. If we do this correctly, this becoming a scholar practitioner in the field of education, then we must accept our work is never complete. The field, the student, the world, the context we all live within, is constantly evolving.
We are destined to become permanent dart throwers wearing dark sunglasses in a dimly lit room with one small window. There are moments of bright light when the sun passes by the window and we see glimmers and glints of a bullseye, of how to achieve success in educating others well. But then we blink, the world changes and with it, our target, and we have to rely on our instincts and faith.
The moment we get that glimpse, we can't help but reset our aim. It's in our very nature as educators and scientists to follow the data. And if that happens in the middle of completing one's dissertation, then the diligent ABD must choose between starting over or pressing on.
I hope and pray I am able to complete the next leg of my journey, and I'm thankful for all the support I have in my life to do so. Whether I do or not, though, I have confirmed one thing through this leg and identified one certainty for the next. My passion for improving education is unwavering.
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